Slab of Steak Part VI

Dear Dope and Sexy,

I’m super in love with my girlfriend but i’m so attracted to her best friend. I dont like her but i would like to pound her. She’s been tagging along lately and i cant seem to get her out of my head *wink wink* Please help!

Thanks, Just Wanna Pound
Chi-Town, IL

Dear BFF (Best Friend Fucker),

First and foremost you need to assess the situation. First thing I would do is try to build a friendly relationship with the friend. Get on speaking terms and maybe even get the girls number in your phone. Secondly, try to increase the amount of time you spend with her by going out with her and your GF as often as possible. After all these pieces are in place you start making your moves. When in a club, see how the two respond if you give the friend a quick grind. If its a positive response then let the liquor pour. Worst case scenario, you bang the friend while shes drunk (and you CLAIM you’re drunk) and shes so scared that she may hurt two of her best friends (thats why you spent that time getting close earlier) that she would NEVER tell the GF. Best case scenario you score 2 chicks at once. And well.. life doesn’t get much better than 2 chicks at once. God invented war so men can kill each other off and then enjoy 2 chicks at once. And if that 3some is everything that one can imagine (and it should be) then maybe some of her other friends will want some too!

OR

Like my hetero life mate Sexy Daddy first mentioned, alcohol would probably the best way to go. Set-up a date for your and your lady to stay at the house and drink. Tell her u want to invite one of your guy friends because he wants to meet her girl friend. This is the bait. Tell your guy friend (it has to be someone you could trust) all about your scheme. He will now be decoy. Tell him to have an “emergency” in the middle of the gathering and that he has to abruptly leave. Now it’s just you three. And the setting couldn’t be more perfect. It’s your home so everyone is comfortable and the booze is flowing so all inhibitions are out the window. JACKPOT! Now don’t go in there half assed, make sure you perform at Dope and Sexy level; because you were at our level, she’d want to try you out alone next, believe me.

Your friends,
Dope and Sexy